Blame it on the Accutane

Now, I know what you’re going to say, “Alex stop being stupid, Unicorns and flying monkeys don’t exist.” Well your wrong, they do because my brain says they do, and since I am Jesus, I win. The giant mammal Elasmotherium flourished on the Eurasian continent particularly the steppes and forests of southeastern Russia, Mongolia and northern China. It was even larger than a modern day elephant and had a single horn which grew from the centre of its forehead and measured up to two metres in length. This real unicorn, whose full scientific designation in Latin is Elasmotherium sibiricum Fischer 25, was a species of rhinoceros. Bjorn Kurtén described the Elasmotherium as “a truly gigantic animal, far larger than any living rhinoceros. It had no nose horn, but instead an immense horn on the forehead: it grew to a length of two metres. This animal was thus a veritable unicorn.” Suck on that one world, these crazy years of snorting government issued Lysergic acid diethylamide out of a plastic straw in the middle of a Mcdonalds has finally proven that yes once again we drug addicts have more than contributed to the well being of our corrupted American society…… so bite me Jesus killers.