Blame it on the Accutane

Now, I know what you’re going to say, “Alex stop being stupid, Unicorns and flying monkeys don’t exist.” Well your wrong, they do because my brain says they do, and since I am Jesus, I win. The giant mammal Elasmotherium flourished on the Eurasian continent particularly the steppes and forests of southeastern Russia, Mongolia and northern China. It was even larger than a modern day elephant and had a single horn which grew from the centre of its forehead and measured up to two metres in length. This real unicorn, whose full scientific designation in Latin is Elasmotherium sibiricum Fischer 25, was a species of rhinoceros. Bjorn Kurtén described the Elasmotherium as “a truly gigantic animal, far larger than any living rhinoceros. It had no nose horn, but instead an immense horn on the forehead: it grew to a length of two metres. This animal was thus a veritable unicorn.” Suck on that one world, these crazy years of snorting government issued Lysergic acid diethylamide out of a plastic straw in the middle of a Mcdonalds has finally proven that yes once again we drug addicts have more than contributed to the well being of our corrupted American society…… so bite me Jesus killers.

Don’t we all love technology…. now in america’s modern age our scientists have created a way to sap american psychiatrists of money by giving us feeble civilians a placeto show all of our weaknesses and fears. Instead of wasting hours of our life by talking to some jerk we don’t know, paying hundreds of dollars to hear exactly what thehell is wrong with us. We now have blogging, the free easy way out of dealing with all of our shitty problems, blogging has now given all of our emo pals the condescending illusion that they actually have something to live for; and the friendsto live with. Of course, who am I to whine at, because as you can plainly see; I am writing my own blog about how much i hate blogging, hows that for sad. But you know, as a broke college student, student being used very loosely, i cannot spare the paper required for a journal, and i definitely cant spring for mental/psychiatric help at this crucial yet ever so amazinglyexciting time in my life. So here I am, sitting in a dorm room whining about life’s little problems wich i suppose when i look back at in five to ten years when im in prison wont look so terribly bad then. But, those problems arefor another day and another blog, right now I am just here to speak of the wonderful little joys that is blogging, so here it goes…..